Ode To My Lack of Education

 

To My Educationing

Trent Bridge Secondary Modern School

It had a bad reputation that I would soon familiarise,

Teachers not too interested, some thick, some wise,

One, who liked blonde boys; I'm avoiding him & his smiles!

It was easy for the others to traumatise,

I was skinny, frail, and the shortest in size,

I was no good at all, when I had to mathematicise,

What the teacher meant, saying that I extemporise?

I got a right load of misleading, bad advice,

Six of the best from the headmaster, but only twice!

The nit-nurse with her paint, to rid us of lice,

I can still picture this, it was not very nice,

I was well off for fun? Yes, but not moneywise,

Teachers had their own preference of punishment device,

The gym teacher, the slipper, not one on the bum, but twice!

Piggy Roberts (Woodwork), a plank of wood, never less than thrice!  

Marsiniac (Marmaniac), metalwork, he'd nip your hair, he's from Katowice,

Webb, (Tech Drawing), a wrap on the knuckles, often needing to medicalise, 

Keeping in his good books was my advice!

Mr Spencer would twist your arm until it turned bice,

Mr Currah, too kind to hit us, he wore bow ties,

School meals 3d, so I couldn't afford to gourmandise,

I'd eat my penny sandwich, often sitting outside on the ice,

I avoided impetigo, a fine comb I did utilise!

I wanted to learn, be clever, at any price,

But my hopes had to vaporise,

Most teachers seemed to just want to terrorise!

Education, I never got to scrutinise,

I realise this Ode's not worthy to publicise,

My mind is confused with agglutinabilities,

But if I can get a laugh, that will be my prize!

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♥ Keepeth safe all, please! ♥