Inchies Multitudinous, Meandering Thoughts

Whatever happened to the apples of Britain?

No more do we see any Winter Pearmain?

One thing never changed, Britain’s brain-drain…

Antisocial behaviour rife, for years, and does remain,

Yobbo gangs, threatening, mugging, causing fear & pain.

Names... where are the Grizelda’s, Alberts, and Morgaine?

Manners and empathy are also on the wane!

And, where did this go, the cure-all tincture?

For toothache, headache, grazed knee… any discomfiture,

Forgotten names used to be replaced with doojigger,

Kids seem to be getting less pain tolerant, queasier,

And cunningly clever, with their selective amnesia!

Doctors are hard to see, getting fussier, nit-pickier,

Life is being centred around the blogosphere!

 

Youth tending to rely on drugs, handouts, and crapulence...

Manners dwindling nowadays, it is not worth tuppence…

There have always been the uneducated and dense,

I had little schooling, thus my ignorance and diffidence,

Never had a chance or skills to gain any effulgence,

I tend to go from self-lecturing to reticence,

My fears and self-loathing showing accrescence!

 

Most transmogrified, is the UK’s jurisprudence…

Parole Board murderers show not guilt, but impenitence,

Freeing killers early, to murder again, with idempotence,

Politicians so full of their natural grandiloquence,

Minister, MPs, showing very little signs of self- consilience!

No prosecutions for Grenfell… causing truculence…

Political skulduggery, they have turned into a science!

All the above and more, has caused me the loss of my mojo!

 

Damned Dementia Doreen, means that I must use Word-Hippo…

What bit of control I have mentally, is minimal and slow?

My physical control of my own limbs? Impossible, it’s a no-go!

Peripheral Neuropathy, Dizzy Dennis, Shaking Shaun have a beano,

Daily making life painful, and distorting the brain’s dataflow…

How I can do these odes is a mystery, a curio!

 

HIGHLIGHT

Buying my second-hand TriumphToledo…

It cost me £195 you know…

Even then, that was good value,

I drove it away, for mate Geoff to review,

Off to his house, he was on furlough…

Pulled up near his house’s hedgerow…

The mounting broke, and the engine fell through!

Dust, rust, sparks and petrol all over the place, flew,

Not such a bargain after all, what a fiasco!

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MUSINGS OVER AILMENTS

It used to come naturally to me, but I no longer have astucity,

A cowardly wimp nowadays, I’ve lost my audacity,

Also gone into the ether, is my physical mobility…

Thanks to Dementia Doreen... also my mental agility,

I’m clinging on desperately, to my veridicality.

 

I’m unsure of the level of damage, mentally,

Confusion has developed with great ferocity...

The eyesight? This could be an approaching fatality?

The short-term memory, well, that’s another divorcee…

She broken her connection with the brain, you see!

 

I can no longer hear, see, and I walk (wobble) rather awkwardly,

Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, Peripheral Neuropathy Petey…

Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, Cataracts Kathy,

Arthur Itis, Saccades Sandra etc., are driving me batty,

Nicodemus's Neurotransmitters, all draining my energy!

 

Why do I give names to my various ailments?

It’s all part of my plan, to maintain some renitence,

I think it’s vital, to offer some resistance…

I realise that there’s no chance of rejuvenescence...

Dying nerve-ends untreatable, but that’s common sense!

 

And I want to avoid going on antidepressants!

The end must be nigh, I expect no resurgence...

Some days, I can accept things, with a sort of sentience…

Discussing with myself in my nocturnal somniloquence,

A Carer came in and caught me once, but no consequence!

 

Some days I feel so alone, a bit like a Yeti...

Then, I may rise from slumber, quite jubilantly,

Every morning, requiring a pain killer and a pee!

That’s another thing, Cancer of the bladder, but it’s okay...

They found it while mending my hernia, and lasered it away!

The bladder now half the size it was in my younger day.

Half the storage capacity, so I keep wee-weeing away!

Keeping the wee-wee bucket handily close, a short distance!

 

I used to love having moments of reminiscence...

Many a good, and many a bad experience...

Torments me, they can sometimes be intense,

Then the memory fails, thoughts turn to nonsense...

Making no sense, hogwash, utter stultiloquence!

 

On a bad a day mentally, I can change moods so quickly.

From feeling rather contented… It can turn so swiftly,

To a Dracula depression, my thoughts can turn ugly,

Self-hate and loathing, fears, shame, predominantly,

Sometimes I can come out of the darkness, resplendently,

The next failing, forgetting, fall, and back, maybe unjustly…

Into the world where thoughts rumble darkly,

 

Minutes later, I may be making a mug of Glengettie tea…

Whistling to myself merrily…

Rather unfrequently,

Yet almost happily?

 

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NEMO MORTALIUM OMNIBUS HORIS SAPIT

Tuesday 24th August 2021: Inchies Diary, and sometimes the odd ode, that might be told? carer

 

Tuesday 24th August 2021

This will have to be a brief one. Due to my knackering myself with the hobbling to the doctors yesterday and this morning: Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet kept going down, and I still had yesterdays blog to get done. Nicodemus's Neurotransmitters kept failing on me, so it was also the most frustrating day ever, with so many mistakes and errors, forever having to correct things. I'm scunnered, shirty, tired, disgruntled, brassed off, and feeling lugubriously depressed!

I've only just got around to starting this one going (16:00hrs). So it looks like another late night for me then.

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Woke

Stirred at 05:30hrs: No wee-wee required. No tea or brekkie, straight on the computer to make a start on this blog! Realising that was going to be a mammoth task to get done, with the post being so long after the marathon walk to the doctors in Carrington and two buses back yesterday.

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Accifauxpas-Whoopsiedangleplops

07:00hrs: Stopped to make a brew of Glengettie. On my way to the kitchen, 👎 I stubbed my toe against the edge of the floor cabinet. 👎Then, Dropped the kettle, which miraculously did not break, 👎 clouted my elbow on the open cupboard door picking up the kettle. Rinsed and refilled it, plugged it in, and it worked! Made the tea and left it to brew, whilst IO made some waste bags and took them to the box. 

👎 Forgot all about the tea, and I returned to the computer. Pressed on regardless and oblivious of the going cold mug of tea!

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Summoned to the Porcelain Throne

Bit of a farce, really. Got settled, and spent Gawd knows how long was crosswording. The tummy contents felt like concrete as I did my best to encourage things along. I gave up in the end, back to the computer.

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Carer Jill Appeared in the Room

She got the medications and questions done. And then, bless her cotton socks, she got onto the phone other doctors surgery for me. To change the date of the telephone call about memory problems. When they gave me the paper, I realised that it was the dreaded flat declutters day to call. 

Jill had to ring back and then was eighth in the waiting queue. She sorted it all out and made sure I'd got the changed date on my calendar. Which made her a little late for her next client - Oh, dearie me! I dread to think what the call is going to cost me. I thanked her, and she took some bits down to the buy-cheap table in Winwood. I'd be lost without Jillie's help. ♥

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Herbert

Herbert Rattling away, drilling and tapping. It's almost musical at times.

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Found The Cold Cuppa

Spent hours not getting very far with the blogging but persevered.

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Porcelain Throne Attended Again

Again, I sat sitting, and with a determined, gritty resolution, I intended to get the evacuation started. It was damned painful, messy, and bloody, but finally, I got it moving. I think it took about ten more minutes to get it all out. What a relief! 

Then the cleaning things and I were not pain-free and took up even more of my precious blogging time.

Moved on to the medicationalisationing. I'll just say, 'Argh!' - that'll get the message.

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Monday Blog Finished!

Thank heavens for that! Posted it off, emailed the link. Went on Facebooking... got about five minutes. Then...

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Got The Nosh Made

Dang, good meal. Score: 8.5/10!

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Washed a Shirt (Exciting stuff this, innit?)

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Awaiting Evening Carer

Made a mug of tea, Glengettie Gold, this time. An excellent brew, my favourites are:

 Glengettie: Strong (Too strong for most palettes)

Thompsons Punjana: Strong, slightly less crude than Glengettie.

Glengettie Gold: Strong but smooth with it.

Co-op 99: More dust than leaves and seems to leave a dry taste in the mouth.

Which is the best? It changes every day.

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Made up some more waste bags and got them in the box with the others.

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Carer Julia Arrived

Bless her, she'd been to fetch my prescriptions today, in her own time. No one got the message from Jill about me having already collected them. What with no one telling Valerie about reminding me of the appointment, or not to take a Furosemide tablet either, yesterday. Communication is not Medirdians strong point. Julia got the medications sorted for me. We had a mini-natter and a few laughs. ♥ Then she had to shoot off, around 19:40hrs.

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Photoed End Car Park

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Amazon Trousers Delivered

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Sorted Out In Junkroom

Put things to take away on the radiator.

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Finished this Blog

Posted it to Blogger, emailed the link, and sorted some more stuff out in the junk room.

Tired now, the recliner actually looks attractive to me. Hahaha!

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I'm fed-up with bad luck, although mostly benign,

I'm feeling better now, and that's without wine,

But, the Thought Storms rattle on like a turbine,

I'm forever hobbling, to free some more urine,

Of getting old, they say it's a sign,

The hopes are dashed, to defeat I resign,

Virgin Media internet more off than online,

The stomach grows more and more elephantine,

My faith, future and hopes begin to dwine,

Should I search belatedly for a partner, a Valentine?

Better get some more phentolamine! 

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TTFNski

Sunday 27thth June 2021: Diary, graphics, photographicalisations, and the odd ode.

♥ TFZers - In Training? ♥

♥ HRH Lisa & Bill at Harrods ♥

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Sunday 27th June 2021

Woke to Thought-Storms

05:00hrs: The thought storms were raging, so many little and large worries and concerns milling about at the same time.

The fridge leak, will Little Inchies fungal lesion be bleeding? Will the carer be late, should I have a shave and do the teeth before they arrive, and have a shower afterwards? Will Saccades Sandra be kind to me today? These and other frettings rampaged on for a few minutes and were then reduced to a lower urgency level when the Porcelain Throne needed urgent attention - a semi-panic to get to the wet room in time began...

I fumbled to get my grotesquely stomached body out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, horrendously grungy coloured, eyesore of a haemorrhoid-testing, rickety, unfit-for-use, recliner, in a desperate effort to get to the closet in time! Oh, dearie me! I genuinely believed I was not going to make it!

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Porcelain Throne Session.

Boy, what a Kerfuffle.

I hobbled, limped and rushed to the throne, and plonked my mass of a body down on the seat. Then I waited for the wind to escape of its own accord and waited for the motion to start!

It took a while, but the rumbling from the innards assured me that the process was being activated, as the various aches and pains indicated. This gave me time to inspect the injuries I'd gained in the frenzying rush, to get seated in time. (And then wait for ten minutes for something to happen?)  

A few seconds of sharp pain as the motion finally began... then a smooth mega-long flowing of the over a foot long evacuation product, and oddly, as it finished, a wee-wee, also of marathon proportions, flowed! I've never known a wee to last so long. And there was over a minute of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling). Tsk!

Surprisingly, one flush cleared the lot away. But there was some bleeding from Harold's Haemorrhoids, I assume. 

I envisaged the snotty, Gastroenterologist at the next appointment saying: "I told you to drink only decaffeinated tea!" Hehe!

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Health Checks Completed

A shame, but the blood pressure had shot up again this morning, and the Urine Health was up to number five level. Hey-Ho!

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A Brew and Photo of the View

The Glengettie was delightful to drink, but the view was a bit dour today?

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Part-Ablutioning Done

I decided to get the teeth cleaned and a good shave and check the bruises and blotches scattered around my Billy Bunter body.

Well, those I could get to see, anyway. Haha!

The teeth cleaning is getting a little painful. The shaving, without too many dropsies for once... I joke not! A good few cuts and nicks, mind you. That will be because I didn't have a shave yesterday; I'm sorry I didn't now.

I had a look around at the known bruises.

Yesterday's colourful bruise acquired in the tumble had already gone down a lot, almost gone in fact. Both of the ones on the arms were virtually gone now. However, the one on the shoulder that the Carer mentioned yesterday, from several days ago when I walked into the doorframe, is lingering on and has turned a little yellow around the edges. So I'll have to come up with a name for my bruise checking? Bruisession Session? No, perhaps not a good one, that! Belinda Bruising... no, Brutal Brutus's Bruising... Maybe not, though.

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Got the Spuds in the Crockpot

Hardly newsworthy, you might think?

But the series of Whoopsiedangleplop while doing this simple task of preparing Josies Chilli-Braised Beef stew for her regular Sunday lunch, I'll mention:

1) Wiping the lid and porcelain bowl - I dropped the lid - it bounced on the floor, up glancing the knee, and landed atop of my big toe.

2) Taking extra care with the heavy basin did not help - other dropsies, and I pushed my bulbous belly forward to trap the container against the sink. But I trapped, caught it with my redundant lower equipment, and started Little Inchies fungal lesion bleeding!

3) Medicated 'things' very carefully. Then, back into the kitchen... cleverly walking right into the wet room doorframe again!

Oh, dearie me! The pot's cap came off as I was shaking some sea salt into the water in the dish; all of the salt that was left in the packet shot out! (It was about half full, but is no longer!) I kept calmish! 4) Got the spuds into the slow cooker, carefully filled it with water, added a bit of salt...

However... putting the small pot of onion salt back in the cupboard above the crockpot... Yes, you've probably guessed it... It dropped from my grip, and it splashed down again, right into the crockpot! Grungleknacks! 5) Cleared the water, dried the bowl and got it right this time, carefully using the onion salt. I removed the Saxa pot and threw it away. Cleaned up the mess. And had a couple of minutes in a mellow, pissed-off, sulking mode!

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Started This Blog Off.

07:35hrs, No carer yet. So I made a start on this post. Saccades Sandra was not too bad... I shouldn't have said that, should I? Pressed on with this blogger blogging.

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The Morning Carer Arrived

08:30hrs; The same carer as yesterday arrived (Ilia, I think). Today, he was more confident, getting used to my stuttering and wobbling on his first call yesterday. 

This time he told me when something (Medications) had run out in the bag. The Bisoprolol Fumarate (Beta Blockers) had run out. Which confuses me a little. I'm sure I was told not to go into any medications at all. This will be handled for you by Meridian. But it isn't? Ah, well, I might have misunderstood. So I fetched some from the new prescription pack.

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Part-Prepped Josie's Nosh 

Then got the Shower taken.

Prepped Josies Cooking as far as I could. Updated this blog, then got the Showering and medicationalisationing sorted out.

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Showered!

The plates looked decent enough.

Well, I say fine... not bad at all!

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Back to getting Josies Nosh Sorted.

Bit of a job getting the timing right, with so many things needing different cooking lengths. All done and delivered dead on time for the gal. She seemed a little more responsive today, wanted to know what this and that was on the tray, bless her.

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Got My Meal Served Up

A reet-meaty-treat

I gobbled it all and got the washing up done. Then, settled in the recliner and managed to nod off for a couple of hours, at last!

Woke Up! 

Made a brew, then updated this blog. Then did a graphic for tomorrows Inchy Today...

Evening Carer Arrived

18:30hrs: Soon had me sorted out.

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Updated This Blog

Got it sent off to Blogger, but it was a bugger; the font formatting kept changing on its own accord again? Argh! Fonts, formatting, sizes...

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Hello, Porcelain Throne Needed!

Visit of the day number two. Similar to the earlier one. Resistant, slow, solid, painful - but this time, no bleeding with it. Once again, the one flush was all that was needed!

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Belated Thoughts of the Day - In Ode

Parts of this Sunday showed an ethereality,

My moods were of mixed duality,

At times, I was completely pain-free!

Occasionally, I sensed festivity,

Although these were in the exiguity,

Many events had forgettability,

My brain held confusion, a floatability,

Ofen I revealed my stupidity and gullibility,

Although there was less hostility,

I enjoyed the odd moment of geniality,

Then some of the lack of practicality,

Others, of hobbling immobility,

I had one flash, of impudicity,

It really was a terrible pity,

Thought Storms back, while writing this ditty

With their tormenting, immutability!

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Evening, all!