Inchies Ode To Life - Hope you get a smile out of it folks!

 Words of Non-Wisdom from Inchie

Life is no longer too healthful,

I rely on Carers being helpful,

I try not to be disrespectful,

Try to cope, be resourceful,

My daily struggles are continual,

Keeping aware and wakeful,

But it's hard keeping to a schedule,

No point in moaning; I must be tactful,

Take medications to keep wakeful,

I'm overweight and not very graceful,

I'm common as muck; folk find this distasteful,

Teeth left? Not exactly a mouthful!

All the ailments should make me fearful,

But there's no time to be tearful,

In fact, this morning, I felt cheerful!

The pretty Carers make me drool,

I know, I'm a romantic old fool,

Now past romancing, that is cruel,

If one adopts this grandad, that'd be cool!

Vascular dementia makes me so forgetful,

What day, time is it. I am very grateful...

When I get summat right, I'm joyful!

The medicationalisationing ritual,

Drives me out of my skull,

I feel I've had a belly-full!

Still, I'm practised in things medical,

Life can appear abstract, conceptual!

Occasionally, I feel almost useful,

 But that's not often or usual,

But the thought of this is valuable,

It helps keep my depression tenable,

Although, now I'm much more abusable,

With PN then stroke, things are more droppable,

I tend to find myself dislikeable?

My ailments and faults are semi-camouflageable,

Most of them are incurable,

I'm growing ever more confusable,

Occasionally, I do something applaudable,

To some, this will sound contradictable,

Hard to be believable,

But the lost skills and abilities,

Are truly not retrievable,

Just press on, I find advisable,

Sometimes the unexpected is achievable,

Then again, I'm very deludable,

Some accifauxpas are just unavoidable,

Like as I type this, sadly horrible...

Virgin Internet down again, unforgivable!

Anger-making, sickening and arousable,

Liberty-Global - so hated and detestable!

What I think of L-G's CEO Fries is unwritable!

Just noticed that this Ode is Gawdawful?

I'll stop now; Huh, it's pitiful!

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Wednesday 15th September 2021: Inchies Day, and sometimes the odd ode that might get slipped in!

♥ TFZer Quote/Caption Challenge ♥

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WEDNESDAY 15th SEPTEMBER 2021

06:25hrs: I woke, wrestled wrigglingly away from the c1968 recliner, up onto my feet, and fell back down again as I took the first step! Two good things about my timing: I fell backwards and into the chair and had a soft landing, avoiding any chance of Haemmorroid Harold's piles bursting open. Secondly, I added an extra cushion to the seat last night, so my landing was no real bother.

Early morning Smug-Mode-Adopted!

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Moments of Obiter Dicta

As I went to put the kettle on, deviations, diversions, strayings, divagations, and generally extended moments of confused meanderings began. The mind and body appeared to have a falling-out!

I sensed that they wanted to do different things at the same time. Yet, the brain just trusted that this muddled state of mind would soon pass. Without concern, I worked through this mood, whatever you call it. I was unphased, trusting in my EQ. Generally a reliable indicator. 

The following events made me start to doubt my own confidence. Within an hour or so, things began to come back on and in line, medulla oblongata wise. 

The tea was never made. I'd washed a towel and oven glove? Had a moment of allotriophagy and ate two iced suckers? (wrappers found in the waste bin) I only remember eating one of them?

Took the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket) to the wet room, emptied and cleaned and sanitised the bucket, turning to leave the wet room. A vicious wanton, involuntary right leg Neuropathy, Pete Schuhplattler dance erupted!

I was astounded at not going over - I hit various parts of my anatomy as the cross between the soft-shoe shuffle and the hokey-cokey vented away. A couple of bruises, yet no hitting the deck. It seemed that whichever way Nicodemus's none working neurotransmitters sent me, there was something to grab or solid enough to lean on or against that stopped me from going over. I was chuffed with this! I was actually lucky! It may never happen at suck a perfect place, and timing, again.

I almost enjoyed it! Grrreat!

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Turnaround Time!

Things seemed to make more sense after the Accifauxpas in the wet room, and instantly so. I decided to get the Health Checks done and put the kettle on again to brew a mug of Glengettie.

Noticed I'd made an error in the graphic again. I'd put 85 for the Sys; it was 58. But the results were so good, this didn't irk me as much as it might have.

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I Made a Mug of Glengettie!

At Last!

I got to the computer, booted it up, took my first swig of the gorgeously strong tasting Glengettie... and the Morning Carer came in!

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Carer Helen... I think it was

No-fuss. Got the medications sorted. I chatted a bit, but I do not think it was getting through, so I gave her some scratchings, thanked her, and she took two bags of waste with her. ♥

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Porcelain Throne

All wind, with just the odd splash of what looked like cooking oil? Nothing solid evacuated at all!

Well, they would. The legs and feet looked a little battered and swollen. I'd bashed them about a bit with the involuntary neuropathic leg dancing.

Gave the legs a touch-up.

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HERBERT

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Got On With The Blogging

Hard work.

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Checked The End Car Park

Just the two occupants today.

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HERBERT-HERBERT

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Tried To Get On WordPress Reader

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HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT Humph!

Shit! None- Effing Stop!

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Bite To Eat

Sausage & cheese muffin. Two mini desserts. I would have fallen asleep, but...

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HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT-HERBERT Humph!

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Another Bash at Blogging

Got on WP Reader.

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Fell Asleep

Woke up wondering what the time and day it was. Back on Blogging - Comments first to peruse. Bill & Tim's comments were Whoopsiedangleplop replied to.

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Carer Valerie Arrived

Whoopsiedangleplop

I was nose to the computer screen as the door-buzzer buzzed! But no one came in. As I hobbled down the hallway, I realised that when I changed the PPs and medicated certain areas, I'd done it in the front room, where I could sit down to get the trews on, and I'd locked the door in case anyone walked in. Believe me, if anyone had, they would have laughed at what they saw (If they had their glasses on) and may well have refused to call again" Hahaha!

I welcomed Valerie and told her why the door was locked. She didn't laugh.

After giving me the medications, we did have a little chinwag. The lack of Warfarin INR and blood tests came up, which reminded me about the need for someone to ring the surgery for me to book my flu jab. Val said she'd ask her supervisor to find out if anyone could do it for me. Bless her! ♥

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Updating this blog

Found some local news snippets

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Local Covid Update

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Finalised this Blog

Sent link via Email.

Facebooked on Winwood Heights and TFZers pages.

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Made a start on tomorrows template. 

Hopefully, I can get some Sweet Morpheus earlier than on late.

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Life can be a right mullarkey,

Decisions made, often whimscally, 

Pretending it was done or said wittily,

My walking, going more wonkily,

Falling, ending up horizontally,

Looking a fool, feeling more sillily,

Can I be adopted by some family?

Depression is increasing, steadily,

Overeating, I often do, so readily,

There was a time, I was fairly wealthy,

Impecunious now, and not at all healthy,

I forget to bathe sometimes; oh, I'm filthy!

Don't think that I'm just after sympathy!

I'll settle for a cuddle and osteopathy!

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Wrote when I'd lost my medications and CBD drops!

Thursday 9th September 2021: Inchies Day, and sometimes the odd ode that might get slip in!

♥ Plane to see, not a TFZer Car Pool? Hehehe! ♥

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Wednesday Evening

Facebooking and...

Liberty-(Crappy)-Global Virgin Media Internet came back on ten minutes later.

Then...

I gave up!

THURSDAY 9th SEPTEMBER 2021

06:10hrs: On my third awakening, I managed to force my pyknic, embonpoint, adipose, abdominous, podgy, flabby, paunch-dominated, stomached-body, from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, gungy recliner. With ease, too!

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Mind Meandering!

Once I got my cumbrous, over-weighted body stood up, I wobbled toward the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). Realising as I got to it, I didn't need to use it. This has not been known for a long time; not wanting a wee-wee on wakening? Should I be worried?

The Poddle-About-Unsure of what I was doing phase arrived.

Ah! I needed a wee-wee!

The Five-Second Weak Wee-Wee!

Popped into the wet room to pass my urine. What a dismal effort that was. A short but squirty sprinkle of about five seconds duration, and it was all over - it was all over in another way as well; All over the toilet, me, and the floor.

Somehow, a sprinkling had even reached up to the toilet rolls on top of the tank? How I managed that, I don't know?

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Waste Bags Made-Up

I made up some waste bags, got the kettle on, cleaned the microwave, belatedly took the bags to the box in the hallway.

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PHENOMENAL HEALTH CHECK!

After eight days of way too high Sys, this morning has produced the lowest ever Sys count - 119! Wow! Result, in the green 'Normal' zone!!! And you can't say normal about other things with me!

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Morning Carer Arrived

It was carer Sobia today. She has only been to once when she was in training and has gained confidence and efficiency in the ten days since, bless her. A pretty young thing, indeed. ♥

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Window Cleaner Joe Arrived

As he appeared, standing in the hallway with all his gear at the ready, with the sun shining on him from the kitchen window... I just had to ask to stay as you are; For I saw an excellent opportunity for a photographicalisationing! Joe obliged, and I got my camera and took this relatively decent picture, I thought.

Joe liked it on the camera screen, and I asked him for his email to send it to him later. We always find time for a chinwag, laugh and mutual moan.

Always does a good job, too. After getting the windows sorted, I bade him farewell, and I asked him to thank Jenny (his next port of call) for me for the beautiful tomatoes she supplied.

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Readied Things For My Hobble Out

Cash, bus-pass for the journey back, keys, taps, lights and cooker all off, shopping list, (I put that in the basket that the declutterers stole [Intentionally or otherwise] the lid off of).

Crossword book, in case I miss the bus back, reading glasses, hearing aids in, alert bands on the wrists, card, and rubbed some Phorpain into the knees before setting out. 

Closed the newly cleaned windows of the balcony and closed the door.

The Dementia driven checked, double-checking and once more for luck, shoes and coat on, and off out on my hobble down to Sherwood. 

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Grand Weather For A Walk!

Along Chestnut Walk, and turned right down Winchester Street.

Obstacle Number One

Getting through the 'Bet to get cut on a twig' part of the road. I did!

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Inchie Goes Into Makro Mode!

I was determined to try to take a photo, a tenth as good as those that Tim Price does. I put the camera into Macro-Mode. And tried to take some insects on the last of blackberry slowers.

I was patient, not hurrying, and a total failure! The one above was the best of eight or so I tried taking. I just could not hold the camera steady enough.

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Down the Hill

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Crossed back over the road and called in the Co-op store. Got sugar-snap peas and a microwaveable BBQ rib.

Up to the Wilko Store.

Sherwood

Crossed over the road and fought my way through the E-scooters, up to the Afghanistan shop. Bought some bits, £7 worth.  Altaf was not there.

Manfield Road

I risked life and limb with the pavement cyclists. They were like flies! As quick, too! Only just caught this git before he disappeared behind the green box.

£27 Spent at Wilko

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP!

Came to the checkout and I handed over £40, 2 x twenties, from the five it six in my pocket... I'll have to explain this; The trousers I was wearing had only been worn once, and that was years ago... and I found the cash in the back pocket, which cheered me up!

When the lady told me they were no longer legal tender and had been withdrawn years ago - I was no longer cheered up. I could actually hear the woman behind me tutting! Haha!

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Down To The Bank!

I could see a queue outside as I approached. Then spotted the vandalisation of the building!

It had been graffitied!

Arrived at the Bank

I could not understand how the queue had been formed; a lady opened the doors and told me they are not allowing any more customers in and closing in an hour, with four customers to serve?

Eh?

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Missed The Bus

So, I meandered about window shopping for a while. A lot of people with time to go for a snack and drink. Sitting there doing nothing for ages. 

Of course, I wasn't jealous, 

Up To The Bus Stop

Slowly some more tenants of Winwood Heights arrived. Chrissie, Penny and two more I do not know the names of. We were soon dropping off at the flats, with Penny insisting I get off first, then along with Chrissie and a chap, they shot off back to Woodthorpe Court. They must have stopped for a natter because I caught them up in the link passage.

At the lift, the three of them fitted in the cage. I waited for the other one. All the lost chances for a good gossip today, Humph and fiddlesticks!

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Back In The Flat

A letter had been posted; I'll look at that later. Started to put the purchases away and got the kettle on the boil.

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Porcelain Throne Needed

And oh, boy, It was too!

Down on the plastic, instant action, smooth, quick and of a colossal size! No bleeding, though, with little pain!

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Back to sorting.

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So, I had a peep at the letter delivered.
Asking us if we knew of anyone who might like to live here at Winwood Court. We could forward the photo-copied leaflet to them. Mmm? 

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Mike Fries Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet Still Down!

Started To Update This Blog

A Massive Job!

But, thanks to $22million salaried Liberty Global boss Mike Fries, it had to be cancelled until the Virgin Media Internet signal returned.

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Made a Brew

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Washed The New Shirt

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READ ALL ABHARGT IT, READ ALL ABHARGT IT!

Virgin Internet Media Working Again!

I'll not get too excited, though!

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Bugger Me!

The signal from Mike Fries Liberty-Global only lasted for a few minutes!

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I took some photographs while waiting for a miracle from Mr Fries, Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet!

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Started To Clean The Kitchen

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Herberts Have Started Again

Notepad Consulted.

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Spent hours Updating

It's getting dark now. The Evening Carer will be here any time now; hello, here she is now...

Carer Carole, or Samantha, maybe Pamela... arrived. I hate it when I get them mixed up. Tsk!

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Although today's good moments. were few & far,

There was a fair moment of, there you are!

Money found in my old trews, Haha!

Went shopping in Wilko, feeling jocular,

£26 spent, what a shocker!

Then, told my money was out of date, hit my jugular!

Paid by card, to the bank, it's door locked, not ajar,

Told me that they were closing, blah!

Good job about good luck; I'm not particular,

Today's good moments really were few & far!

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Fodder formulated!

Got some food made up and ate well.

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Internet DOWN yet Again!

If anyone knows of any offers by trainee assassins at a cheap rate? Or anyone selling a working ballistic missile. I wouldn't mind, thanks. Then I could make contact of sorts, with over-paid, number-crunching, fact-fiddling, Mr Fries, and point out my displeasure at his inability to keep Virgin Media Internet online for longer than an hour at a time. It is a little annoying. Thank you.

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Pissed-Off Now!

I'll have to try to catch up with blogging and Facebooking in the morning. I'll get my head down earlier and hope to wake up and make a start on this... assuming that $22million a year, plus expenses salaried, customer-hating Mike Fries of Liberty-Global, who own and are destroying Virgin Media internet, might possibly be back online?

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Evening Photography

From the kitchen window.

Looks homely, doesn't it?

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Message For Mr Fries.

CEO (And number-cruncher) of Liberty-Global.

No, I'd better not!