Inchies Day - Thursday 1st July 2021: Diary, graphics, photographicalisations, and the odd ode.

♥ TFZer Ruth, Accusationally pointing something out... Haha! ♥

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Thursday 1st July 2021

05:30hrs: The mastodonic bellied blogger awoke. In his usual confused, 'What day is it?', condition. As the last few Thoughts Storms gave up the battle to bother him, due to no response, disappeared, an involuntary blast from his rear end sort of exploded! It came to a phut-puttering end. A weak limpid 'Oh!' was uttered, and the battle to get to the Porcelain Throne in time commenced. Well, what a farce it was too! He bumbled and fumbled his way out of the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner, and onto his feet, with incredible ease, and caught his balance.

Off to the Throne Room, banging his right shoulder against the doorframe going in the wet room. Settled down on the raised seat and thought about having a go at the crossword book, but the motion started straight away, and did it keep coming? Yes, it did! A rare but definite victory for Trotsky Terence over Constipation Konrad. Messy, phooey, massive, and needed ages to get things (the bowl and me) cleaned up afterwards.

The top of the legs had acquired some more mystery blotches to go with the old ones in various conditions. Some dying off; others were seemingly coming up.

On the bright side, there was no bleeding, no pain, and it was all over quickly. Hehe!

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Handwashing -Waste Bags Sorted

I felt a smidge more 'with-it' today. Physically, not necessarily mentally, yet.

I got the made in Afghanistan long-sleeved grey tee-shirt done, wrung and hung.

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Toque Blanche adorned:  Metaphorically

I went into food-prepping mode!

The potatoes first, and after removing the blighted and bruised ones from the Morrison bag of Baby Potatoes, I took these snaps below of them. A second one to show the second form the left spud's other side. Hehe!

Put the few decent potatoes in the crockpot and got the chopping board out to prepare the leeks to join the spuds... but found this mystery mark on the underside of the board? Hmm!

I could not remove the mess on the board using a wire brush, bleaching, nor Mr Muscle stain remover! So I left the board to soak in the bowl, washing up liquid, caustic soda and bleach in it. An hour or so later, I returned to check it out. It had hardly diminished at all? I threw it away, and I dug out one I had in from the rubbish room. On the carton label, I found that it was delivered in August 1989. Ahem!

Then, I got the leeks added to the mini-potatoes in the slow-cooker.

All done but not sorted, I made a cuppa and planned to do the Health Checks.

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Second Porcelain Throne Visit!

But No! For a second calling to the Porcelain Throne arrived, off to the wet room.

Oh, dear! Almost a carbon copy of the first visit, but more of it and slightly less solid. Cleaned and washed up again. 

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I delved into the Health Check routine

The Blood Pressure was back up again. The pulse was good (I think), the Wee-wee colour was fine! But it's been higher.

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At last, I got On The Computer!

Hah! It was hard work, so many errors made that needed ever correcting, then I'd make the same ones again! Blogger didn't help when it stopped me from changing the text colouring! Grrr! The concentration joined the memory and got lost. I part-sorted out the current photographs, then I made a start on this diary!

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Carer Carole Arrived

08:10hrs: Care Carole came in. At least, I think her name was Carole. I get so confused with the memory doing a bunk on me, you know. Tsk! We had a chinwag which I enjoyed greatly as she dosed me up. I thanked her, and off she shot; a busy day for her today, she told me.

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Third Porcelain Throne Visit!

Well, it was practically a liquid evacuation this time! Despite this, it needed several flushes and extra buckets of water to rid the product from the bowl! Hehehe! They say things happen in threes - I do hope so, and this will be the last visit today. I'm feeling a little squeezy inside now.

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Photographic Check on the Workings Below

I went to make another brew of Glengettie. I might get around to drinking one this time! It seems we have a new equipment storage container on Chestnut Walk.

Har-Har! It looks like another temporary compound will be needed for the workmen's gear and tackle to be stored in? Well, the pigeon has no problem parking.

The time is flashing by!

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Checked the Waste Bag Box

There laying on top was the cutting board, clinging onto it, the mystery stain! Haha!

By this afternoon, it will be filled and wanting to be emptied. So I'll get my shoes on and do it now! Oh, I am good!

I had to laugh out loud at my own antics with the long shoe horn this time. How the heck I got it stuck twixt shoe and heel, I can't grasp. But then again, there's an awful lot of stuff I can't understand nowadays. Hehe!

 Off with the walker and box to the Chute room.

And it went so well, too. No walking into anything en route, and once in, no finger trapping, dropsies, toe-stubbing or ankle bashing whatsoever!

Bit of a Smug-Mode coming on now!

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Made A Sainsbury's Order

For next week

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Made An Iceland Order

For tomorrow 06:00 > 08:00hrs

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Well Shattered Now!

Going to get the nosh done.

Braising steak, potatoes and veg, with smoked chilli, liquid smoke, passata, Squid vinegar, and leeks. It took a lot of time and concentration to prepare. But, having made a similar meal twice in the last week, I was confident of success! (Big mouth!) It smelt terrific as I plated it... sat to eat.

Argh! The beef was horrid! Spit! Tough as leather, but tasted worse!

Ah, well, you can't win 'em all, I suppose!

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Updated This Blog - Nodded Off

I woke in an hour or so, care due shortly, so I started tomorrow's template.

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Carer Arrived

Looking strained, and she was feeling somewhat tired and had a lot more calls to do yet. Poor thing, I hope she goes on alright.

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Updated & Posted This Blog

Took me hours to do; my eyelids were drooping...

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A Few Crap Thoughts In Crap Ode

Got my head down, hopefully, to sleep.

Thought Storms came, full of cleep,

Fears and worries tormenting and deep,

Little Inchies lesion began to seep...

Up for a wee, I wanted to weep!

I could give up! Life's not worth a heap!

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More Crap Thoughts In Crap Ode

Wish not for the hopes of pure desire,

Let your love set a fire,

A flame of passion, not barbed wire,

Oh, if it's terrible odes that you require?

I'm the man of whom to inquire!

Be warned, if you do wish to buy any of Inchies Customised Designer Odes, they have been known to cost as much as up to 20p - 25p each!

Monday 28th June: Diary, graphics, photographicalisations, and the odd ode.

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Good Morning!

Morning Thoughts

In terrible Rhyme

Finding the will to get up was a bit of a fight,

Catching my balance was a fright,

I'd got the shakes and wobbles, alright!

Felt an itch. Have I got a parasite?

From worrying there is no respite,

Still, today, I hope for some delight,

But of course, the chances are finite,

Another night with no moonlight,

I should be cheerful, with hindsight,

But there's not much of that insight,

Passing on the Throne is quite tight,

More dangerous than dynamite!

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Monday 28th June 2021

Stirred Back to Imitation Life...

0515hrs: Woke up, fought off the desire to go back to sleep (It wasn't easy!)

Finally, caught my balance after struggling to free my bolus-shaped belly from the second-hand, £300, second-hand recliner.

I nearly went over. (Phew!) 

Got the spuds in the crockpot...

These Iceland potatoes are famous this season for their blight, cracked skin, and selection of funny faces. Hehehe!

I investigated what seasonings were available to add to the spud in the bowl.

There were indeed no shortages of options. I went for a drop of liquid smoke and some roast chilli. I'm not sure why cause one cannot taste them after they are cooked? Or is it just me?

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Looking a little glum outside

Got the kettle on and took these shots of the rather drab looking morning views from the thick-framed kitchenette window.

Made a brew of Glengettie... and the need to use the Porcelain Throne arrived... However, it turned out to be a false alarm?

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Tackled the Health Checks

And what an absolute super-duper set of figures were recorded!

Blood pressure down to Pre-High for only the second time ever! Into Smug Mode.

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Porcelain Throne Second Visit

When I'd got settled on the raised seat, I could sense this time; things would move - but it was a long, patient, crossword puzzling time before any activity matured. Tsk! 

At least I did a bit better with the crossword puzzle this time while I spent ten minutes awaiting some activity from the rear end...

Once the evacuation began, so did the pain. Arghh! Well, it was nearer agony!

Insult to injury, it was a right and proper messy affair. Requiring much cleaning up and medicationalisationing! 

Yes, the Germoloids for Harold's Haemorrhoids, that was okay, no bother...

The Phorpain gel, nae fuss.

But the Daktacort, Oh, dearie me! Little Inchie wasn't too pleased either. Ugh!

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Computerisationing

And what a farce. I'd forgotten how to do some things, made a mess of changing the default page, Blogger kept changing my formatting all the time, and I can't find one of my SD cards! I gave up because I was not getting much done and working myself up over my failures.

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Waiting For The Carer To Arrive

If the carer comes early enough, I'll try to get the ablutions done quickly, then catch the bus or walk down to Sherwood... Ah, No! Soddit! I've got the can opener being delivered today from Amazon. Huh, stuck indoors again!

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The Carer has not arrived Yet?

Oh, dearie me!

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Computer off - Waste Bags Collated

The box on the trolley is now getting full, and there are more to add later.

Whoopsiedangleplop

I thought being active would calm the ticker down; it seemed to be racing away with my not having taken the Bisoprolol (Beta-Blocker) yet.

So, I set to and got the kitchen floor swept and mopped up. Not too bad a job was done...

However, partway through the job of sweeping and mopping, I had a zemblanity Accifauxpas!

The base of the long-handled dustpan, bent as I leant on it, and is now broken, and the handle bent. Tsk! I squashed the waste bags down in the box on the trolley and got the broken plastic and distorted handle crammed in it.

This idea of cleaning up was beginning to get a smidge dangerous. Hehe!

Sister Jane rang as I was finishing off the mopping. So we had a natter until her Xiaomi Mi 10i 5G, Qualcomm® SM7225 Snapdragon 750G 5G mobile phone with its Quad Camera, and 24GB RAM mobile lost its signal.

Jane rang back, and we resumed the three-way conversation with Xyrophobia sufferer hubby PetePete joining in. Until Jane heard a knocking noise and thought it might be the carer at the door, so we parted. Ending our chinwag rather abruptly.

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09:10 Hrs: Approx

Still, no Carer arrived. So I got on with a lousy stand-up wash, cleaning teggies, shaving and medicationalisationing session. Then I got the made in Pakistan long-sleeved blue checked thick shirt hand-washed.

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Made Inquiries about the Carers absence

First, I thought I'd ask Deana what I would do under the circumstances I'm in. The call was diverted. So mayhaps ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Obergruppenfhüreress and Lap-Top Dancer Deana, is away on holiday. Or perhaps at a big meeting? Maybe she has been sent to another complex elsewhere as absent staff cover?

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So, I called Meridian

A cheery voice, almost singing, replied, "♫ Yes, we're running a little late!♫ I'll call her... (the rest not heard). Ah, well!

Got the things to put ready to use.

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Cleaned the Electric Fire Area

I got down on my knees with the bucket of soap and cloths and gave it a good scrubbing and was pleased with the result.

However, the joy was short-lived.

The job of getting back up onto my feet was a mammoth, painful, nae, excruciating task. That took me a long time and many failed efforts!

Which brought on a Smug-Mode, when I eventually got up. Hehe!

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Aha! Carer Natalie arrived! ♥

11:00hrs: Lovely to see her! She apologised for being so late and got the med's sorted quickly,  so I got my belated Beta-blocker. 

I'm sure it was not her fault. We managed a natter while she did her thing, and she left with a thank you gift, in good spirits.

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Minutes Later, Nurse Hristina Arrived ♥

By gum, I'm doing well for pulchritude here today! Hristina was pleased that the builders were making more car parking spaces. Bless her, she has struggled again today to get parked up! We had a chinwag while she took my blood sample. Which made my day!

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Minutes Later the Amazon Delivery came

The Box. The Carton. The blood!

I'll need some help in setting this one up.

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Did Some Updating

Feeling a little drained now. So, I'll get something to eat, then sit down in hope of getting snooze in.

Smashing chicken chilli meal.

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Marvellous, I nodded off watching the Croatia v Spain Euro Match!

I woke up with a jump and desperate need of a wee-wee around 18:40hrs, and I lunged for the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), and as the flow shot out like from a hose pipe...in came the evening carer, Carol.

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Embarrassment Par De Excellence!

The carer pulled back from the doorway... but I'm sure I heard laughter? Hehehe! I'm only joking! The gal was amazed at how late the morning visit was. We managed a mini-natter while she did the medicationing.

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Computer Back On

I washed the pots and got on with updating this post. And got it posted off to blogger.

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Evening Ode Sorry about this!

Head down at long last,

Full, content after my repast,

Today has been a turmoil blast,

A wonder I didn't need a plaster cast!

The errors, mistakes were all vast,

On the Porcelain Throne, I was nearly gassed!

The stomach has acquired even more ballast,

Today's Whoopsiedangleplops, can't be surpassed!

Hello, my past life just shot past?

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This wos rote by Gerald ChamBers (78, but with the body of a 95-year-old). Orfer and poeticist, in one of his regular 'Out-of-it' seshuns, after an overdose of Whoopsiedangleplops aNd Accifauxpas.

TTFNski

Inchies Day: Friday 25th June 2021: Graphics, Photographicalisations & the odd Ode

♥ Who Is This TFZeress, in her tender years? ♥

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I Awoke Most reluctantly!

At 0600hrs, I woke, but dysania ensured that it was a long time before I moved. But I am not axiomatic. There was a reluctance from parts of the body as well as the brain. There was also a short-lived desire for apanthropinisation lingering. Hmm!

I did notice susurration noises coming in through the balcony windows. Not the same as the World-Wide-Hum sounds, though.

The need of the Porcelain Throne and a wee-wee forced me to battle my way, out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, horrendously grungy coloured, eyesore of a haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, recliner.

I had another bad rising onto my feet. Cathy Cartilage's apaesthesia nearly had me over, but I heroically and physically saved the day with a lunge to grab the arm of the recliner! Smug-Mode-Adopted! Class-A, Grade B! Grabbed Metal-Micky, and off wobblingly to the Porcelain Throne, carefully.

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Porcelain Throne Evacuation

Not One of The easiest I've Ever Taken!

The wee-weeing was a WDFL (Weak-Sprinkling-Fountain-Like) release. Followed by much PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling)

Not that this delay was any bother, because the rear-ends movement was still, very slowly building up, ready for the action to begin!

The wee-weeing marathon was history, and still, there was no action from the rear end. I had a go at the crossword as the pain increased gradatim. I sensed that things were bleeding as well; this would not be good, I thought!

Gradually, the movement suddenly speeded up, and a splash and thud were detected, even without my hearing aids in! 

I think that I sighed out aloud in relief as the evacuation finally ended. But then, things got really messy... Oh, Yes! 

The rotund single rugby-ball shaped product had somehow blocked the entire hole, and the water rose as I flushed the WC! But the blood did make an attractive picture as the turd refused to go anywhere! So finally, I had to get one of the long wooden sticks that I kept handy and broke things up to enable the porcelain to clear itself. But, unfortunately, it was so hard, the stick broke! But at last, with a gurgle and sucking noise, the bowl cleared.

I must take a Dioctyl® with the morning medications. I don't fancy going through this agony again, later on!

I cleaned the toilet and myself, but it wasn't a hard job, no excrement to wash off, just blood. At least Little Inchies fungal lesion was not leaking any haemoglobin.

Like an imitation of a mental wreck, I left the wet room and was ready to go back to bed. Hehe!

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Made a Brew, Photo View, Fridge leak!

To the kitchen, kettle on, and took a photo of the view through the window. Rather rainy at the moments out there.

Made a welcome brew of Thompsons Punjana tea, and I got the milk from the fridge. Oh, Flipping Heck! The water was still gathering at the bottom of the fridge! I cleared it with paper towels, but I'm worried about the situation. The refrigerator seems to be working okay, all the same. Puzzling!

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Health Checks Carried Out

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Started Blogging - Snaps of Car Park Works

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Blogging for a few more hours - Carer Nichola Arrived To Tend To Me!

Yee-Haa!

Getting myself in the right mental pickle today. Forgetting what I was doing, words, spelling... and to make things even worse, Blogger kept changing the formatting of its own accord! A real struggle it was, which was instantly alleviated when kind carer Nichola arrived. 

She said she was sorry the prescriptions hadn't been delivered yesterday. (Which I'd forgotten about, anyway!) Tsk!

A true Angel of Mercy was Nichola! During our natter, I mentioned the fridge leak. And after dishing out the medications, she looked at the fridge and then made a phone call. Called me into the kitchen and asked if I had a stick of any sort, then showed me the hole found at the back of the fridge.

She rang her partner to ask for advice for me on the leak.  How kind was that! ♥ She prodded and unblocked it a bit, and we'll see how it goes now, she said. Brilliant Nichola! ♥

I thanked her for her help, proffered her choice of a can of drinkies, and she had to rush off, a hectic day for her. Bless Her Cotton Socks!

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Intercom Call From Kingstone Court Again!

Again, the regular workmen can't imagine they are mending the Intercom cause it's not been working for the emergency services, nurses, delivery people, etc., for weeks now! 09:20hrs; I got a call that was made from Kingston Court in Sneinton. But, someone from Kingston Court, call flat 72 there, and gets me here in Woodthorpe Court, miles away?

All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunting the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me?

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The Plan Was To get On With Blogging...

But, good old Mafioso type boss or Liberty-Global Virgin Internet Media, Steven Fries, put one of his companies many ends to any hopes of internetting again! Thanks, boss!

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Set to, Prepping the Meal

Which, unfortunately, proved to be a time consuming, Whoopsiedangeplop, Accifauxpa ridden idea! Shame that!

I started to get the veg and meat in the saucepan, moved the potatoes from the crockpot in with them, and got a pot of extra strong gravy seasoning and put it in with the mixture... Well, that was the plan...

As you can see, I had the dropsies. As usual, Unfortunately, Nicodemus's Neurotransmitters failed me at the optimum time to cause the maximum upset, frustration, and pain. 

I kept, I thought, incredibly calm. Got the floor cloth and spray, cleaned up the mess, washed the cloth out, and returned to try again with the last remaining pot of seasoning...

Another Accifauxpa! 

As I turned to go to the cupboard, I managed with minimal effort, well, with no bother at all, to stub my toe! I felt it. Well, you would!

Funnily enough, when I took the above photo, around the stubbed toe was a glow! Ho-Ho!

After what seemed like hours faffing about, I finally got the chilli-stew all together and onto a low light. By gum, it smelled nice!

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The Local ENews Perused

No murders today? But there was the local Alert-Message, above. Right where I live as well. I'll probably get mugged on the way to the Doctor's or while shopping? Tsk!

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Iceland Order Sent

I should get in in the morning. Plenty of bargains that were perhaps not bargains? Where you have to buy 3 or five of something to get a discount. Humph!

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 So tired now

I'm going to try and get a bit of kip.

Well, that didn't work. Got up and carried on with updating this blog as I waited for the evening carer to arrive.

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Droopy-eyed, I began the updating

Not easy to concentrate, I made a brew of Glengettie, then took this photo of the evening skyline from the kitchenette window.

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Evening Carer Arrived

Another first-time calleress. Nice gal, in a rush, but still spared me a coup;e of minutes for me to natter away, Bless her!

She brought the prescriptions from the chemist with her. Which was a kind gesture, worthy of a can of plonk on her leaving, with my thanks.

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A Dinnerless Night

After the gal departed, I was so weary and wanted to get this blog finished and a template created for use tomorrow. (Pressed on with completing this - there is something I don't say very often nowadays!) Hahaha! So, I pressed on with achieving this.

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Hopes, in Ode

There's not a lot left to hope for,

Perhaps, Cathy Cartilage to be less sore?

And me to get out a little bit more,

And life to be less like a see-saw,

For my Vascular Dementia, a miracle cure?

The Warfarin INR blood not to soar,

Peripheral Neuropathy to be less of a chore, 

Saccades Sandra to let me see more?

Less falling over and hitting the floor,

Oh, and far less of my walking into the door,

A chance and reason, for a rare guffaw,

And, fewer problems with CorelDraw!

Further, that I can discover some fervour,

Sweet Morpheus, for me to savour,

And cut myself less with the shaver,

Did I really say; not a lot left to hope for?

I was fibbing - Bonjour!

Hehehe!