Inchies Day: Saturday 21th August 2021: Inchies Diary, and sometimes the odd ode, that might be told?

♥ TFZers Booting Up The New Pool Car ♥

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SATURDAY 21st AUGUST 2021

But it Wasn't!

 Carer Sobia Woke Me Up 

A most embarrassing explanation!

I was woken up by Carer Sobia Naheed, who came in looking down rather disgustedly at me. And I do not blame her!

Why, you ask? (I hope) I'll explain:

After three days with a total of a barely amassed four hours sleep, due to Amazon's lies and failed promises that my three pairs of trousers and two jammie-bottoms would be delivered yesterday (also promised and assured for the previous two days), and they had failed to arrive yet again. Last night I fell asleep and stayed that way for over eight hours. Hence, poor Sobia was greeted with the shocking sight of a blubbery mass hanging half in and half out of the recliner - bad enough in itself, however, to make it worse...

Although I do not recall any of it, I think I must have been nocturnal nibbling. Well, it was apparent that I had been. The clues found were; the empty that was an entire big pot of Twiglets was on the floor with the lid resting in my crutch! Broken bits of Twiglets and crumbs on and in my stomach folds, the recliner. And the armchair next to it, the footrest, and all over the carpet at my feet! Empty iced lolly wrappers, and one from a 4-count Marmite biscuit, were found in the bin.

I cringed with embarrassment!

Sobia sorted the medicines, and I thanked her; I think I mumbled some sort of apology for being in the condition I was when she arrived.

My lowest point of humiliation and depression for yonks fell on me as the carer left.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Self Disgust & Thought Storms Raged 

No tea, but I needed a wee. And it was a marathon one. Which unfortunately gave me time to mind-stew and ponder over my future, such as it is. I could see the mess from nocturnal nibbling, and this made me feel even worse; my darkness of mind flowed. I pressed on with cleaning up the mess.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Started Clearing My Mess 

I'd picked up the ton and a half of unbroken Twiglets before I started photographing.

Back-breaking and time consuming, but my own fault, I suppose.

Got the mini-hoover out.

Sorted the bins, here, kitchen and wet room, and got them made up and taken to the rubbish chute.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Called to the Porcelain Throne 

It just gets worse when things start to go wrong for me. A terrible embarrassing waking up, the mess to clean, and now, the worse for years Porcelain Throne Session suffered!

I got down and settled on the seat and stayed there for over half an hour! The crossword book had never seen so much interest.

I'd moved onto Crossword 98 by the time evacuation had started. Agony, it was, too!

On the bright side, there was a little mess. But a lot of bleeding from Harold's Haemorrhoids.

I had to utilise the spiked-plastic thingamabob to break things up before the flushing would move anything from the bowl.

Took a Dioctyl poo softener.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Vacuumed Up Again

I used the handheld (and dropped in my case, Tsk!) Black & Decker this time. Yes, there were some bits I'd missed - in fact, I believe they could be breeding; there seems a lot more than earlier on? Haha!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Much Belated Health Checks 

Flabergasting Results!

Just take a look at these figures. Wow!

First Time Ever in the 'Ideal' green area!!!

Tim and Bill, my cyber buddies, both think the Carers calling on me have caused the drop. A little worrying point, I have gone down that much over the past six days. I am very close to the 'LOW' blue section now - Can I win?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Blog Started at Last 

I had Herbert making some varying noises this morning. The first lot was reminiscent of Wood Pigeons cooing, but so much louder, of course. The cooing had sort of warble to it as well... that doesn't help, does it? Hehe! I've no guess as of what Herbert was making this time.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Porcelain Throne Again!  

I meandered to the wet room, certain almost smugly assured that after the first session, there would be no rush needed.

Got in and the crossword book out. (I'm on puzzle 90 now after the last session).

When the movement began, I gritted my teeth and girded my loins for the agony to come... but no! A smooth long (very long considering its short time since the first effort) of evacuated product flowed out. I curled itself into an imitation giant Cumberland sausage as it appeared it would block the pipework. No such thing! One flush and all gone! A fair bit of bleeding, mind you. I had done well there!

The dioctyl seems to have worked!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Tea, a wee-wee & on the Computer 

Ah, Herbert was back to his regular beat now, tap-tapping with the odd clunk thrown in.

After an hour or so, I decided to stop and sort the decluttering prep work done. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Decluttering Sorting Done 

Every bit helps. 

I'd got the emptied earlier waste-bag box all ready and just needed the energy to make up some more bags.

I moved a lot of stuff to the corner in the hall to go down to the Winwood Table, or someone can have them, as long as they go!

I had to put the big vacuum to go out with the other stuff. I tried using it earlier on, but needed two hands to control it, which would not be safe if Nicodemus' Neurotransmitters died, or Peripheral Pete's leg dancing kicks off while I'm using it so, it'll have to go.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Back to the Computer 

Amazingly, I spotted some more bits of Twiglets on the same bit of carpet I've hoovered twice today?

Beats me! Nothing new there, though.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 YourArea Emag Snippets 

Accompanied occasionally, but not too often, by Hindrance-Herbert, a sort of rustling sound now... no, back to tap-tapping now. On with the magazine searching.

All violence and cookery. I'm not in the mood now; I'm drained again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Cleaned  Up a Bit 

Humph! That's done me in. Getting back up after doing the fireplace, Backpain Brenda and Shaking Shoulder Shirley have both been a bother ever since. Too much of a hassle; they don't usually last this long.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Graphics Created

CorelDraw some graphics and saved them to file for use in the blog late on.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Got Iceland Order in

Milk and bread are essential. I remembered.

Somehow or other, part of the last order was added to this one? Flumblecrags!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - -

 Cleaned  a Smidgeon

Washed and disinfected the much-used today NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket).

Then got the electric fire plate washed, no I didn't. Changed my mind because the evening carer might be coming any time now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - -

 Evening Carer Arrived

It was Valerie. Got me sorted and was off on her rounds. After, I might add, having a gossip and laugh at me funnies. Hehe!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - -

 Ode to the Day

Woke up, with food all over me & many a stain,

Care woke me up, I felt so inurbane,

She must have thought me, lurdane,

Amazon let down, yet again,

My faith in them was all in vain,

Hopes for improved luck was slain!

What to do? I was uncertain,

Pee'd off, is this the final curtain?

For me, life's a rocky terrain,

How much longer can I sustain,

Incorrectness; is a hell of a strain,

Not helped, with me being a scatterbrain,

From the urge to cry, I must restrain,

My bouncy outlook on life, I must retain,

Had a few toe stubbings, oh, the pain!

Respect for Amazon, no more remain,

They'll have a job for it to regain,

I think they hate me, that's very plain,

No satisfaction from them can I obtain,

All het-up, better take my Novocain,

Where is it? Oh, dear, it's been mislain?

Such stupidity, can I really maintain?

Life can be hard with Saccades eyestrain,

Today, it's been a bit of a bane,

What if I throw coins into a fountain?

I say some odd things, am I on cocaine?

I'm better off than many, so mustn't complain,

I bent down to clean, and now I've back pain,

My dotage, I'll have to appertain,

But my desires for that are on the wane,

There you are. I've lost the plot again!

I think I live life, transmundane!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - -

Due to the fact that Iceland is delivering from 06:00hrs in the morning and the Doctors appointment, I'll need to get some kip early tonight. So I'll catch on to what happens after this in tomorrows Inchies Day - God willing.

TTFNSki Folks