Inchcock's Day: Monday 19th April 2021 - Caducity is becoming more noticeable!

 Halloes!

♥ Cool TFZer! ♥

Monday 19th April 2021

Finnish: Maanantai 19 Huhtikuuta 2021

01:30hrs: I awoke to the usual demand for a wee-wee and battled to disentangled my scarily overweight and wobbly body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, unsteady, not-working, incommodious, sickeningly beige-coloured, haemorrhoid-testing recliner. By the time I'd achieved this and caught my balance, I also needed to visit the Porcelain Throne. So, off to the wet room, I staggered.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP-ACCIFAUXPA: Oh, I eased my body mass, and there is plenty of it around the midriff, down onto the raised seat, and commenced suffering an egregious session that drained me physically - I jest not! The outcoming torpedo, or rather, submarine, which felt like it was made of concrete, tested the limits of my extraperitoneal anal canals expansion. I think it helped things along with the bleeding, it sort of oiled the passageway? And talk about massive - the movement took over a full minute from starting to the ending its route to the water. Every centimetre was felt; it was that slow and almost torturing!

Seeing the blood afterwards startled for a moment. But on inspecting the rear-end best I could while cleaning the rear end, it was apparent that it was poor old Harold's Haemorrhoids that were haemorrhaging, and no damage to the colon had been suffered. Phew! 

Obviously, first things first, I cleaned up and medicated the piles. Then tackled getting rid of the evacuated product; it took several prods to break up the granite-like submarine, then many refills of the tank, and endless flushes, but eventually it was cleared of the bowl. What a session! I can do without any more like that one!

Next, back to the front room, took an extra Codeine with the morning medications, and got the Health Checks completed.

A much-improved set of figures today!

I made a brew and checked the tablets for the afternoon doses, and got them potted ready.

I started to get the photos into CorelDraw to sort them out, but it was hard going. Nicodemus's Neurotransmitters were on and off all the time, making control and accuracy difficult, not to mention all the correcting errors. Very time-consuming and frustrating!

Started the updating of Sundays and finished around 04:15hrs, when the shuffling, rattling noises started again from somewhere above. Furthermore, it was of no bother to me, as I was up anyway, but confused me about where it was coming from?

I got the diary sent off to Blogger, then looked at comments that had come in - two of them today. Perused the WP Reader and made some comments. Then checked the emails and deleted about 600 of them.

At 05:50hrs, more of the rustling noises from above?

I made an Iceland order for delivery tomorrow. Got some potatoes, cooked ham, iced lollies/creams, and drain unblocked, amongst other stuff.

As I took the cold mug of tea to be emptied and washed, I realised how well I was hobbling about, with a balance I'd not had for months? This does happen occasionally, but at that moment, I felt I could risk dancing, so good was my balance? 

Then, I noticed that the fog had descended suddenly. 

I foolishly opened the window to take this photo of the scene and view it. 

What a mistake to maker! Gawd, it was so cold! I am a fool!

I did some more work on this blog, and then I went to get the ablutions sorted out.

I went into the kitchen and did my usual trick of getting side-tracked when I saw the state of the floor. It required a good clean up, from where I'd been spilling water when I was doing the washing up or handwashing the laundry. Tsk! It did look bad, though. I did my bestest, cutting into the hard skin underfoot when treading on the mop spinner. 

Still, it was worth it. Now it looks a little better. The ankle was looking good bt the time I'd done the teggies, shaving, showering, drying, medicationalisationing and freshening up... bt of a mouthful there, sorry about that, got carried away!

I had a go at unblocking the sink drain again, used the last of the so-called Drain-Unblocker, but wasn't anything like successful. This decided me to go out to Sherwood and get some more unblocker of a different make. First, I had to get the waste bags to the chute and the recycling bag to the bin.

Which I seemed to whip through, and before long, I'd got all ready to go to the bus stop and made my way down to the lobby with the trolley and recycling bag, which I dropped where the bin usually is, but wasn't, outside.

I had a hobble over to the end of Chestnut Walk and took the three photos above; to capture all three blocks, left to right. Woodthorpe, Winwood and Winchester Courts. And a few fellow tenants at the bus stop.

Then I hobbled to Winwood Court and the ILC Wardens, alarmed Interrogation Office and strip-search room. Hahaha! A few words with them, but I forgot to ask Deana if she could ring the Doctors for me sometime in reply to the letter sent to me from the surgery. Idiot me, nae, pillock! I must remember on the way back from shopping, I'll repeat that to myself...

I had a most enjoyable chinwag at the bus stop; I haven't been so ignored in a long time. Hahaha! Joking!

I was soon down in Sherwood on the bus and made my way to the Co-op store. Where I bought Chilli-Con-Carne, garden peas and a packet of orange biscuits. Got the shakes at the till, but nothing worth worrying about. I coped easily enough. Paid the lady, and had a limp up the hill, and went into the Wilko store. 

Where I spent far too much on things that I didn't really need. But I did get some drain-unblocker. I can explain to the bank manager later. Haha! Right at the end, as I was paying, I got the shakes again, a little more vicious this time, the lady put the things on the bag for me, after she'd retrieved those I'd dropped on the floor, Bless her!

I had about half an hour before the bus back was due, so I had a walk on the opposite side of Mansfield Road, and I thought I'd nip in the Children's Charity shop for a nosey - it was closed. So I poddled up the hill to see what breads the local bakery and cafe had on offer, hoping for some sourdough, of course - that was closed, too. So, I took some photographs of nothing in particular of interest.

Until I spotted a Pavement Cyclist, with his hairy-arse uncovered and his spare tyre, not the bikes, exposed. Eurgh! But I got the timing wrong, and all you can see in the third photo are the bottom of his wheels, which are more appealing than his hair bottom to look at! 

Over to the bus stop, and a 40 bus arrived within a minute of my arrival. I got on it and had a struggle with trying to hold the trolley steady as we went up the hill. 

Got off of the bus and took this decentish shot along Chestnut Walk, giving a better view of Winchester Court. Winwood in between and furthest away, Woodthorpe Court - That's the one with the mysteries, ghosts, hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, succubuses, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, or the Fata Morganas, eerie noisy that nobody knows where they are coming from. They have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? 

I called on the ILC's with a treat and carried on home to the haunted, tormenting noises-ridden, blocked-sinks, and taps (faucets) that turn themselves on, flat.

Back at the flat: I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana, had an orange biscuit, and got caught up with this blog for a couple of hours.

Then, the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court started off again:

• The weird bombilation noises began...

• I heard someone speaking, and it sounded as it was in the flat to me; a Sherlock Holmesian investigation found no cause or person? Mmm?

• Ten minutes later, the same type of voice was heard, off to retake a decker - and found it was somebody talking on the intercom. They were talking too fast for my cophosis to understand what they were saying. I think that the tone of voice was angry? Erm?

• A few minutes later, the landline rang and flashed: It was an Asian-voiced gentleman, I think telling me he was ringing from Amazon... as soon I heard this, I rang off.

• I tried to get back to concentrating on the blog, but another ten minutes or so, the Intercom rang and flashed; It was, I thought, the haematology nurse, come to the Warfarin INR blood test. A last, I mused, after 6-7 weeks, it will get tested...

• But no! It was Matron Jackie ♥, who said she was giving me a quick call, can't stay long quote. However, she took a photo of the Blood Pressure results from the screen, asked about the dizzies when I last had a Warfarin blood test and other stuff, bless her cotton socks. She rang the Doctor for me, too, and will have a word with her about finding a neurologist to look into the Nicodemus Neurotransmitters and Shaking Shaun problems! And she will tell the Doctor why I haven't replied to book an annul check-up and Severe Frailty Review, as asked to, in last weeks letter. (New morning coughing bouts - Covid?)

Well, that was a hectic little period of mental activity - I've got a headache now. Har-har!

Blimus, it's late again; I'd better get some nosh prepared and imbibed. The potatoes will be coming in the morning from Iceland, I hope. So tonight, a can of Chilli, what's left of the garden peas, with some beef gravy made and added, will do me.

It would be nice to think that I can drop off to sleep after eating and washing the pots, but the Thought-Storms, Cartilage Cathy, or Shaking Shaun are the favourites to make sure that doesn't happen. I'll finish off this blog in the morning... I hope! 

Morning: Finishing off blog: Ate the meal half asleep - but I think I enjoyed it, though. And had an iced cornet afterwards as I remember. Noted something on the TV I'd try to stay awake to watch.

I was off into the land of nod in minutes. I must have needed it. And, I slept for four unbroken hours! Yee-Haa!