Tuesday 14 th September 2021: Inchies Day, and sometimes the odd ode that might get slipped in!

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TUESDAY 14th SEPTEMBER 2021

I stirred, needed a wee-wee, clambered to the overnight emergency bucket, and passed a gallon... well, it felt like it!

I realised how confused I was when I started to make a bag of waste up after cleaning and sanitising the bucket.

Then, I made a meal a microwaved meal. I may have thought it was nighttime? But it wasn't; while eating it all up, I realised it was 01:40hrs in the morning.

By the time I'd got the breakfast eaten, I think I must have taken four more wee-wees. Reverse-wise of yesterday?

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Health Checks Next

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Off Into Haze-land!

Wandering around, starting jobs and getting myself diverted to other jobs, I went into the spare room and gave up trying to remember why I'd gone into it! My sanity was saved when I had to go to the Porcelain Throne; it returned an iota of normality - but fear as well, after yesterday's almost liquid, funking to high-heaven evacuation.

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Wet Room Activities

Another session of no effort needed 'Splurt - Splash & All Over, and done!'

The innards fooled me again, though; that sensation showed itself when you know there is more to come. 

No follow-ups arrived, but at least I got a few more answers in crossword 101. Cleaned the mess and myself. And hobbled back to the computer.

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Started this blog going

Struggled with the graphic creations a little, but the typing was easier, thanks to Nicodemus's neurotransmitters being calmer, far less bother. Found the latest Covid figure for Nottingham.

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Ablutionalisationing

I thought it might clear the haze a little if I got the ablutions done and had a refreshing stand-up wash and a medicalisationing session. So, I did, but it didn't! Haha!

However, I did manage a cut-free shaving session! Although slightly swollen and aching a bit, the feet and legs looked good in the photos.

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Medicationalisationings

Varying Degrees of Agony!

I started with one of the usually more manageable tasks, Phorpain gelling the Arthur Itis's knees, feet and hands. I amazed myself at how adept I seemed to be this morning, using the picker-upperer to reach the lower regions to apply the gel! This can do no harm to Colin Cramps either.

Started Back-Pain-Brenda off, and one clout of my knuckles on the corner of the floor cabinet. Pain-level 4/10.

Little Inchies Fungal Lesion

Today was not going to be different either. 'Argh!' I took it slowly and tried to be careful as I applied the fearsome Daktacort® ointment. Glad that was done! This job is always going to be the most painful of the medicating tasks. Pain-level 8/10.

Stomach Folds

I much for pleasant practice putting the Germolene on the cracked skin. This cream eases from the first moment it gets applied to the wound! Pain-level 0/10.

Harold's Haemorrhoids

I can get another brand on prescription, but Germoloid is way ahead of the others in its 'Piles-Pain-Killing' qualities, and it is not greasy to handle. Pain-level 3/10.

Saccades Eye Drops

Hehehe! As usual, when putting in the eye drops, most of it runs down the cheek and or nose, trickling down into the moustache, then the lips and mouth. It tastes horrible! Leaving a pretty stain sometimes, though.  Pain-level 0/10. 
Nearly Forgot to Do the Teggies!
Dressed
Then, sat down and tried the lady picker-upperer style approach. I actually think that it worked more safely, in as far as there were no toppling or falling over losing my balance! I had ruffle up the trousers first - the drag them close enough to use the picker, and one leg at a time, leg my limbs into the trews. Unfortunately, it took me five times as long as my usual method.
Also, poor of Harold's Haemorrhoids were put through the pain barrier somewhat. I'll try again next time. Pain-level 3/10.

I have to use the Duraphat® toothpaste nowadays. An odd thing with this prescription toothpaste is that I must not rinse the mouth after using it but spit it out! The teeth are decaying at a fast rate of knots. The 14,000 plus worded warning leaflet weighs more than the entire tube. Hehe! Says if any is swallowed, go to Accident & Emergency immediately! Still, it tastes pleasant to use. Pain-level 6/10 Although this is not the paste causing the pain, it's the bad teeth!

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Beautified So I Smell Nice

I made a fun graphic. Maybe the makers will pay me to use it and get customers flocking to buy them... Or not! Hehe! 

Sounds so easy, doesn't it? Not for this old sausage, it isn't. The Falls & Accident lady showed me how to sit down to get pants and trousers on, this being much safer... she said. So today, I tried her method. 

I got seated and tried it with the PP's. Not a cat in hells chance, so I got up and used my old method, with me leaning into the corned for support as I danced on one leg twice to get the pants on. Went okay.

All Done

So now, you can see why everything takes longer than before the stroke! Tsk! I was offered an opportunity to have carers call each morning but not before 08:00hrs, and each evening after 21:00hrs, to assist me with getting dressed and undressed. And it would only cost me a staggering £280 a week... Gotten Himmel! Add that to the £280 for the medicine giving carers. And if I had taken up their offer of someone to go shopping with me once a week. Another for someone 'Go through' my paperwork. This would have meant a total of c.£940 a week! What? I'd be in instant debt! Wish I joined BUPA now, Hahaha! I'm used to falling over and walking into things, leaving taps, the cookie and lights on, anyway now. Har-Har! I could rob a bank, but running away would be out of the question. Hahaha! 

Had I been claiming benefits, I'd have got them for free! So glad I worked all my life now, the last ten years, on a minimum wage. I've not had a blessed life, and I'd hoped I'd have more contented death, but they've kyboshed that plan!

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Made a brew and Took Precautions

I made a mug of Glengettie and took another of the Galpharm capsules. The one I took last night has already helped in the rear-end flood scenario. This one might bring things back with some solidification.

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Morning Carer Arrived

It was Caroline, I think. But the haze was back with me, and I'd just fell asleep again and was having a dream. I found myself waffling to Caroline about what I'm not sure about, but I did write some notes about the cream on the notepad. Caroline seemed to be gone so quickly - not sure why or even if it was a short visit. I remember going to the door with her and asking if she could take the bags to the chute for me, save me getting dressed. She kindly took them to the chute room on her way. As I say, the haze was back! Gagfangles!

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The Dream

From a bit of recollecting and the notes, I scribbled. Not very exciting, and a smidge muddled, but, here goes, a dream-reader might read this and help me out with understanding the morning dream:

We arrived in Mablethorpe in a 1959 Austin A40. I was with a female (No idea who?), and we were driving to the coast - In Lincoln, we went into a cafe - Continuing our journey on a motorbike, not just any bike; it was my BSA from many years ago. I think we went into some digs, very vague... We left on bicycles to a Bingo stall on the promenade - Boris talked to the players, and an argument followed, I'm sure...

We couldn't get back in the digs to our room; the stairs changed into an escalator? Vague again... Then we were on a canal barge in Beeston... That's all I can recall.

Ah, Oneirologist is what they call a dream reader, I think anyway.

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HERBERT

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CBD UndertonguedS

That seemed to pull me around somewhat. Enough to start on this blog at long last. And Boy! Did I keep at it this time - none stop (apart from repeated visits to fill the wee-wee bucket) for over six hours, and only got as far as to here!

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Off To Make a Brew.

A much-needed one of Thompsons Punjana, left to brew while I took yet another wee-wee. Tsk!

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HERBERT

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Photographicalisations

Well, drivers have taken to the new end car park. The grey van driver possibly having problems understanding what the yellow chevrons mean? But, it is raining a bit.

I think all the vehicles, I see only three, are maintenance ones. 

I took a snap of part of the front of Woodthorpe Court. It reminded me of Alcatraz, from a Clint Eastwood film.

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HERBERT

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More Updating of this Blog

After an hour or so, I went to make a brew of Glengettie. Hahaha! The wee-wees were still coming regularly enough for me to get wee'd off with them.

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Poll Card Arrived

A shame they seem to have stopped the Polling Station at Winwood Heights now. So I and all the others have either to walk to, then up Mappreleu Rise, and left to along to the polling station. Or, take a bus, which is every half-hour after 09:30hrs, and miss the one coming back. Hahaha! Of course, the more affluent and younger tenants will have a car they can use. Parking might be a problem for them, though. 

Walking up Mapperley Rise is going to be a battle. But still safer than walking down it, for me with the walker-guide.

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HERBERT

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I'll get a snack made up.

Whoopsiedangleplop!

I'll try a scrambled egg or eggs using the microwave. Here goes! A smidge farcical to start with, but it came out decent hours later when I finally got it made.

I went in search of the new blue microwave egg cooker pot. Straight to the cupboard where I knew that I had left it.

Couldn't find it!

No panic at this stage! I thought a thorough, systematic search of the kitchen would bring it to light. Starting with the other floor cupboard - Nope!

All three storage boxes, Nope!

The built-in cupboard, even though I use it for cleaning items. Nope! 

Searched through all eight stack drawers, the four medical, four cleanings and the bio-hazard one as well. Guess what? Nope!

The cutlery drawer, Nope! The electrical drawer. Nope!

Now I was annoying myself and getting irked. I even looked in the bog room, going through hall boxes. Nope! The declutterers had crammed with odds and ends.

Desperate now, I checked the wet room in vain hopes. Nope! The hallway, Nope! To the front room, and just about anywhere that the blue cooker pot might have fitted into, now looking at places already searched with any luck... Nope! 

I even looked in the walker guide bags, coat pockets that were big enough to hold the blue egg cooker. Nope! 

I did another search of the kitchen, then the wet room, back to the front room. Nope!

Basically, I gave up! Exasperated, I opted to have fish stick sandwiches and tomatoes as an unfancied alternative.

I went to get the fish cutter from the first cupboard I searched, what felt like hours ago. Of course, the blue Sistema egg pot was not there... But the pink one was!!!

Yes, I'd been searching, thinking the pot was blue. When all the time it had been pink, and once the cupboard door was opened, in clear view, in the place where I'd left it... and searched in the first place!

I knew that I knew! I just forgot! I was pleased to have found it, but just a smidgeon pee'd off with myself!

Prepped THe Nosh

Fishsticks and tomatoes ready, and got two extra-large eggs cracked and in the Pink egg cooker pot. But, many bits of shell went in with the eggs. Oh, dearie me!

What a mess I made!

Trying to pick out the bits of shell, I made a right mess of me, the tray, and the server. After hopefully getting all the shell out of the dish, and probably around two hours after deciding to use the pink, blue egg cooker,  I got around to cooking it! Hurrah!

The card said cook one minute and give it 30 seconds to stand, sp I did. Took it out, and it's all still runny.

So back in the oven again, for 1mn 20secs. This time it came out like this;

Not looking very artistic or pretty, but by gum, it tasted lovely, that's to my trial seasoning for the eggs. A splash of fish vinegar, Worcester Sauce, black pepper and a tiny drop of wine vinegar. Bootiful! I must remember this for next time.

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HERBERT.

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Washed The Pots

The pink/blue plastic egg cooker was a challenge to get clean. I had to leave that soaking in the bowl with washing up liquid, soda and bleach.

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Down In The Chair

Drifted off into the land of nod within a few minutes.

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Woke Up

Convinced that it was morning, I got up, wondering why no wee-wee was wanted and limped to the kitchen. Got the kettle on, and the Evening Carer arrived. At this, IO realised it was still evening.

American Carer Julia, it was. And she got the medications sorted. Then we had a little gossip, laugh and swapping tales. I really appreciated that, and she took some bags to the chute on her way out, bless her and those twinkling eyes. ♥

But I do miss seeing Jill! ♥ I hope she's doing alright with her working from home. I have fallen n in love with her. Maybe I could adopt her? Hahaha! (No, nothing like that, as a granddaughter mayhaps)

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HERBERT

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Discombobulated

I'd taken, although some without intention, so many catnaps today, I was quite befuddled timewise... I needn't have said that. It's my usual state. Hehehe! 

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Well! I fell Asleep Again!

When I woke, thinking it was time to get up anyway, paramount to me was the thought that I'd left the hot water faucet (tap) running in the kitchenette! I clambered my way out of the rickety c1968 recliner with calamitous results...

Accifauxpa! In my haste to get into the kitchen, where I was certain the tap would be running, I gave myself one of the worst toe-stubbings for weeks. Argh!

All as safe in there.

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Concentrated On Updating This Blog

Suddenly, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley was having a ball, giving her best, most violent efforts to try to dislodge my shoulder bone. Tsk!  It took me about four more hours to get it finished.

I heroically pressed on and got it posted off. I think a medal or mention in despatches would be appreciated?

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Lifes tribulations can be enough, to make me quake,

From the very moment, I pass-wind and wake,

What to eat? Bacon, boiled eggs, or a teacake?

Which will give the least stomachache?

I live in my world, which is aged and archaic,

My wee-weeing today, hasn't taken a break!

Existence nowadays is unexciting, prosaic!

Ah, I know, I'll have a lemon cheesecake!